Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
