the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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