I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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