The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
