And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
