I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
