Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I have post one night stand depression
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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