dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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