he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
