i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
