No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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