Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
