Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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