remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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