the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
