forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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