I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize