If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Couch. On fire.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
