I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
