you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
