I wanna bring you to show and tell
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Duck Duck Cougar?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize