I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
pop tarts are not kleenex
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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