I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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