I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
