i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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