you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
