Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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