Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
