NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
