I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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