My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize