I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
