I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
