OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize