So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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