Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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