he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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