just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
