we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
