Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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