so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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