Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
