I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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