So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize