singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
