You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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