Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You ruined the universe
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
