you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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