Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
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Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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