i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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