I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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