You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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