You can't special order awesome
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
