it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
