I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
