i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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