I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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