I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
