So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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