Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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