Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
